She's a lady

To be a lady..

What does that even mean?
I'm looking through dictionary definitions saying things like "A well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behavior." and "A woman regarded as proper and virtuous," or, "a well-behaved young girl."

Urban dictionary defines it as "Something most Men don't treat right." And a "masterpiece created by god," and my actual favourite " The best word for a male to take a normal, innocent sounding sentence, and add an awkward, perverted, creepy twist, in reference to speaking with a female. It is always used at the end of a sentence, and usually follows a comma. For extra effect, can be complimented with lowering of the voice, and raising of the eyebrows. Is used by guys that desperately can't get any actionglobally. It's use is significantly higher when the man has been consuming copious amounts of alcohol."
ie. "how's it goin, ladies?"

Haha, jokes aside though, I have had enough lately of being told what a lady should and shouldn't be. I shudder at the thought of changing myself to fit the 'standard'. A lady is who and what I am, regardless of what anyone else has to contribute. Yes, you're allowed an opinion, but if it isn't going to be loving and encouraging, I'm really not interested in hearing it at this point. I'm not saying criticism doesn't have a place, because of course it does, but where I am right now and where I am going, is towards celebrating every piece and part of myself, and why shouldn't I?

Is that not what I'm supposed to do? Does being a lady mean I can't be active and competitive, and challenge a guy (or a girl) in every given situation possible- especially when it involves sports? Because that's simply not me. My body was built to be active, and when there's a game situation where I can use my body's natural strength and build, why wouldn't I? Why would I hide in the darkness? So I don't get hurt? So I can still look beautiful? No. That just doesn't work for me.

This is one of my favourite quotes, and I"m pretty sure it says it all:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Coach Carter

 Look, I'm not out to attack anyone, and I'm not saying there's not a time and place for one to be well-mannered- in fact, manners go a long way, always. I'm not saying we should just run wild in every given moment (though sometimes I think about it.. ;) ).
But my appearance does not make me a lady, nor does my athleticism negate that I am one.

Hatas

Hey friends!!

Well lots is changing these days. I have given my notice to leave my job, which I think has become pretty evident now, and I'm on the lookout for something new. This is actually really exciting- or so I have to remind myself every once in awhile when I have the freak out. But you know what has been really helping me lately? Walking.

I've been walking a ton lately, and made the promise to my dog and myself (which yes I should have a long time ago..again terrible dog owners I know.. except we're not though.. I swear!) to walk every single day, sometimes twice a day. And it feels so good. Almost every time I don't want to go, but it's slowly becoming less and less of the not wanting to and more and more of the 'I need to go'. And that is purely because of how good I feel while walking, and when I get home. It's like everything slowly melts away, and all that is left are the feel good endorphins, just enveloping my brain. It also gives me a chance to rejuvenate, and a chance to think, which are things I don't necessarily take the time to do otherwise. So I'm just putting it out there friends, if you feel crappy, get out there and walk- even if it's raining! I'm telling you it is just what the doctor ordered.

I've also noticed a significant change in my dog which makes sense to those of us that follow the Dog Whisperer, because exercise is the first and most important practice with your dog. So... yes it's pretty awesome, and she and I have become such good buds lately, and she's totally been listening to me more... I feel so silly for not following through in the past. But that's exactly what that is.. the past, and it's behind me and right now I'm making changes that I am committed to.

Speaking of thoughts while walking... may I just have a moment to say... (and only a moment mind you, because I don't want to become what I am about to describe) but seriously.. to the people that complain about everything.. you are exhausting. Absolutely life drainingly exhausting. Some of us are trying to enjoy our lives and make the best of things, and you know what, life can actually be fun that way. But when you sit and fester about every little thing, and then drag others down with you.. ugh, it does absolutely nothing at all to fix your situation. And may I just add, that guaranteed, no matter what your problems are, there is someone in the world that is in a predicament, 10 trillion times worse than what you are going through. So why don't you just sit back, try to see the positive in a situation, or fix the problem. I don't see why you would possibly want to live any other way.
UGH!!!!

Ok, just had to get that out, seriously.  Time for a walk anyone?

LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!
A :)

Self love!

When you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while, cause girl you're amazing just the way you are... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk) 

Now I know some of you dislike the Bruno Mars song "Just the Way you Are" which that is the link for up there, and yes I know it's overplayed, but I don't even care! I've totally jumped on the bandwagon, because I think we need more music like this- music that is nothing but positive and encouraging. And I know when you're having a bad day this is the last thing you want to hear- music that's too happy- Natasha Beddingfield's Pocket full of sunshine comes to mind for me- but I'm going to take what I can get right now, as should everyone else. We could use a little more self love (not selfishness mind you) these days.

So.. in keeping with the happiness and self love theme- I took a huge leap of faith on Saturday. I did something somewhat unexpected, which I have been known to do in the past. I think most may have thought I'd outgrown my impulsive phase, but alas it lives on! Anyway, I'm not exactly in the position at the moment to define what exactly it is I did, but it will reveal itself in the upcoming weeks I'm sure. And let me tell you, I feel so free. Ok ok ok, let me start at the beginning here.

For many months I have been struggling to be happy without trying. Like waking up and in order to get through the day, I would force myself to be happy. I knew this was happening but I couldn't admit it wasn't right- well I admitted it to everyone but myself actually, and granted there were many things that contributed to this, but with the help of my closest friends and family, I was finally able to come to terms with the truth, and what was actually best for me. 

Anyway long story short, I took the leap. And the second, literally the second I did, I felt like I was floating. I was so uncontrollably elated without trying, that I immediately knew I had done the right thing. And the truth is I don't know what to expect, but I am hoping for the best. I am prepared that hard times may be ahead, but I truly think I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and this is exactly what is supposed to be happening, and though that is hard to trust, I trust it.

So my friends.. Love yourself. That is pretty much all I have to say. That and, you should watch this 4 minute interview and performance that was on the Ellen Show today. It made me happy. I want to do for women what this gal is doing- inspiring others by sharing her experiences in finding strength and happiness and self-love. And it doesn't hurt that she's actually quite talented as well. You go girl!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JUX9f7yn2A 

much love to all!

A

Back in the swing of things

Well here we are, on our way into 2011, and to be honest, so far so good (knock on wood).
After the craziness of Christmas and New Years, I actually have some time off work to relax and.. well whatever else I've been getting up to that doesn't cost money.. with the exception of buying a new car battery today.. which wasn't as bad on the wallet as I was expecting. And you know why? Because my dad and I installed it into my car ourselves! We also changed one of the brake bulbs. Boo yah! I also learned how to jump start my car the other day.. which I'm pumped on! If anyone ever needs help with the above, I am at your service!!

Getting back to my outside of work pastimes, I've had the chance to see a few of the popular movies that are out these days- Black Swan and the King's Speech. I would love to get into Black Swan as there is so much brilliance to be discussed there, but for today, I'd like to focus on the King's Speech. I don't want to review it or anything because seriously I don't care to argue with people about what's good and what's bad- yes, we all have our own opinion about films and all the details that we love and hate- but at the end of the day, it's just a movie- I don't care THAT much!!

Ok, so now that we have that out of the way: The King's Speech. I was inspired. I love the idea of having a voice and struggling to be heard because I think this is something most everyone can relate to, right? I know for myself my blog started out of wanting to express myself in a way that people (or myself even) could understand. And even though I just knocked people for expressing their opinions in regards to movies, I do truly believe it's important for us all to express how we feel. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and I think we'd be surprised what we could learn if we would just listen.

That being said however, I would like to take another lesson I've recently learned through one of my good friend's at work and put it to good use. You see we work in customer service, and much of the time customer's complain and want to be heard out. I don't blame them for this- sometimes business' really suck. What I do blame them for is their approach and taking whatever else is going on in their lives out on me. The way some people just tear a strip off those that work in customer service is frustrating and.. well lets just get to it because I could go on forever: the lesson is that just because someone is older than you, does not mean that they are always right.

I feel like this has been ringing loud and clear to me recently, and only now am I beginning to trust in my own feelings when dealing with someone else. In the past I feel I have caved in and just given everyone what they want to avoid conflict, but as I get older, I am realizing that the way I feel and think is just as valid, if not more, as others regardless of their age, experience, profession etc. I am a human being just like you.

So there you have it- I'm just putting it out there for all of those that don't know how to express themselves- #1- Trust how you feel. (And I believe this is important in all areas of your life. Your gut knows more than you think it does.) #2- Give your opinion, but be ready to listen to someone else's and #3- don't be a jerk to people that work in customer service.. actually, how about don't be a jerk in general and make the world a better place? Yeah, that's a good one. But of course this is not directed at you my friend, because jerks don't read my blog... :) Yippeee!

 I love you all! Happy January!
A

2011

Long time no talk strangers! In fact, dare I say it's been 3 weeks since I last posted? WHAT the heck?! It's not like there's been any shortage of thoughts going on in my head, but I must admit I've had a hard time making sense of them all. That being said, today I'm just emptying the clutter out of my head.

Christmas was busy- doesn't quite feel like it used to, and by no means was it relaxing. I worked until 5pm on Christmas Eve, then drove the hour and ten minutes to my parents house, where gramps poured me an extremely strong gin and tonic that produced an excruciatingly painful headache on Christmas... Ya.. I don't quite remember ever associating Christmas day with a hangover, nor do I ever want to again. But family time is good and I really am blessed with a wonderful and fun family. And yet this annoying voice in my head keeps telling me to enjoy it while I can, because who knows how many more years we'll all have together like this... which is a good thought, but also sad at the same time.

After boxing day I was back to a busy work week again and truly knew I was finished by the 4th day in. But that's a whole other story. Oi.

Anyway, New Years Eve was lovely, spent with great friends, and thankfully no painful headache today! (Seems I got my Christmas Day and New Years day mixed up this year). This is funny though because generally I dislike New Years due to numerous terrible new years' in the past and finally I can say I had a good one.

And now we are on to a new year. 2011.
We watched a sports highlight of the top ten sports moments from 2010, and of course much of it was from the Olympics. Oh the Olympics. I must say I am extremely grateful to have lived through that and to have lived in Vancouver at the time. Lots of fuzzy feelings there.

To be honest, I'm glad to say goodbye to the rest of 2010 after the Olympics. Not my favourite year. It seemed to be filled with lots of clutter and painful lessons. Don't get me wrong, there were good moments too, but I'm all for upward and onward. And 2011, that's you!

Well friends, that about wraps up my three week hiatus. It doesn't sound like much, but you can fill in the gaps with craziness at work, lobsters crawling around my house, and too much alcohol. I'm happy to begin a new year, and I'm excited to write more often. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reading. I'm continuously surprised and thankful that you want to share the journey.

Much love, and until next time (which will be soon!)

A :)

Surrounded

Hello dear friends of mine!

Well I've been neglecting writing because I've had such an eventful past week! It's true! And you know it's funny, the more I write, the more I feel like I'm able to pinpoint the lessons I'm learning, which is kind of cool, because I've got them documented for myself, and hopefully others may find them useful as well. In any case, at this very point in time, I am overwhelmed in how blessed I feel.  Forgive the cheesiness, but I'm just in such a thankful place right now that it's hard to avoid....

Let me begin at the beginning. Last week I was under the impression I was going to be participating in something I was beyond excited for. I'm not even sure how to describe my excitement, but I really couldn't contain myself. I'm pretty sure "a dream come true" escaped my lips. And then out of nowhere last Monday, I found out through an unfair series of events that my participation was no longer needed.
Ok, so I was crushed.
Yes. I was heartbroken.
But, friends, this is when I got a dose of how lucky I actually am.

First of all, I've never really had someone around when I've been upset at something. My friends are always a phone call away, and believe me I called them, but those calls always have to end at some point, and then you're back to being along again. I found myself crying, and my man was right there beside me, listening to my nonsense (and believe me, it really was). He just sat there and listened and comforted me. It was actually so weird to me. But I'm so thankful for him. He always seems to give me exactly what I need.

I ended up telling everyone at work about the heartbreak- mostly because they all knew how excited I was in the first place, and I just wanted to douse the fire so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. My bosses were utterly and ridiculously supportive, and so sweet.
And then... well...one of the amazing girls I work with was kind enough to anonymously send me flowers. Me. Flowers! From someone I work with. I mean... I simply can't describe how special I felt. And how kind of her. It's almost hard to believe that someone outside of my family and closest friends would care enough about me to send me beautiful flowers to make me feel better.
And it worked. (Thank you SW)

After that I came home and saw that one of my lovely friends had written something very kind about me on her facebook page. And I was stunned! So much love!!! Such amazing and kind people in my life! How can I possibly let anything bring me down when I am surrounded by so much love?

Anyway, the sadness isn't exactly gone, in fact it reared it's ugly head in the passing away of my family dog on Saturday, but it certainly has been overshadowed by the beauty of the wonderful people in my life.
(And besides that, all dogs go to heaven, and Emily is no exception.)

And that's what has become apparent to me lately there are always going to be ups and downs- that's just how it goes. But it is so incredibly important to surround yourself with solid, loving, wonderful people. We all need a support system, no matter what we're dealing with.

I also want to point out that at some point we need to take control of the things that happen to us in our lives, and decide how we're going to let them affect us. I think it is important to be human and go through the motions of mourning, but I also think we need to make the choice as to what we will let control our lives. And no sadness, anger, jealousy, fear: it will not be you.


Just something to chew on.

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

A

Are you 'avin' a laugh?

Wow, what a day.
Today work was fairly uneventful which is a rare thing, but I am grateful. It's a welcomed change.

When I arrived home, however is when all the fun began. Where do I begin?
I know! How about the part where I walked through the door to see the child gate that we use for the dog had been knocked over... this likely means she made her way to our bed and slept soundly atop our comfy sheets (ok not a big deal to most, but when your dog sheds like ours does, its nice to have an off limits place, where my man and I can be fur free!). Anyway, I think, ok not so bad, but as my eyes scan to the carpet I see the dog has left us a few presents there. I figure she was probably quite scared when she knocked the gate over and then left us some evidence to prove it wasn't on purpose.

Next to the stained carpet were some pieces of plastic. And ok... I don't even want to admit this because it's so terrible and I don't even know how she found these.. but she got a hold of some razor blades and chewed them to pieces. Luckily no blood or cuts (thankfully they were dull blades and she was only interested in the plastic parts, and I know you're thinking we're the worst dog owners ever), seriously though... how did she find these and where? Maybe in the bathroom garbage she broke into when she knocked the gate over... arghhhhh. I would like to apologize to the academy of pet owners. I swear it was an accident and it will never happen again.
(p.s. if my dog is playing with razor blades I think it's a pretty clear sign that I'm not quite ready for children yet....)

So after that fun event I decided to just kick back by checking facebook, only to find that a friend and her mom had deleted me off facebook. Again.
Why in the world does it hurt your feelings when someone deletes you off facebook? I get it that facebook doesn't actually mean you're friends- I'm not expecting all my facebook friends to check my profile every day for updates and comment and to be "like"ing everything... but at the very least it means you know each other and have a way of contacting each other if you ever need to.. at least that's how I think of it. And when someone deletes me, I guess it feels like they are severing all ties, never wanting to speak to me again for any purpose ever. That's sad, right? I'm not totally crazy on this one. But it is what it is and this time I think I'll take a page out of my friend Camille's book and "let it be."

On the bright side I did make some amazing carrot ginger soup last night that I got to indulge in tonight... yum! And that is where I find myself now. And you know what will be the perfect cure to the aforementioned incidents? Some episodes of Extras. If you ever need to laugh, first start by reading my blog because sometimes I can be hilarious, and then make your way over to youtube and watch Extras. Ho boy!

Thank you so very much for reading. Much love to all my friends, facebook and unfacebook.